Open Mic Nights in Australia

While in Adelaide, I was (nicely) thrown on stage during an open mic night at the Grace Emily Hotel/Bar. I was terrified, as usual, and I messed so much (not just being modest) but it still ended up being one of my favorite nights in Australia. I'm usually so bashful about playing music—it was nice to just do it. Mistakes, nerves and all.

That night as I walked home, I was so pumped up over the whole serendipitous shenanigan that I couldn't stop smiling. I decided that night that Adelaide is awesome, travel is magic, and music is the best piece of heaven that has slipped its way into this world.

I went on to play at another open mic night in Cairns a week later, and it was just as fun. I was probably keen to do this because traveling tends to bring out the "you only live once" in us all. Now, if I could just be bold enough to go on stage when I'm at home too!

Not about Australia, just about life.

It's January 22nd, a Wednesday, and I am sitting in a study lounge at my university. 

Soon, when the sun starts rising earlier and warmer, when the trees turn green and the world begins to bud with life—and when people like me start sneezing and itching (and panicking about post-grad life)—this will no longer be my university. 

In fact, in just roughly 59 and 1/2 days I'll officially be a University of California Davis Alum. Just the thought of that right now is making my stomach churn a little... 

I'm not really scared of graduating, or at least I haven't been up to this point (maybe writing about it is going to catalyze the long-anticipated panic attack, though), but I really don't have a plan at all. And I suppose that is worrisome. 

There's something really different going on right now though—something not like any other transitional period that I've yet experienced in my 22 short years. I think I'm finally taking some responsibility for my life as an adult. (a young adult) :)  

I don't pity myself for having no concrete plans yet, nor am I really stressing about it in the same way that I have stressed about other things before now. I just know that if I want something to happen, I have to start making moves. 

I've been tapping into this realization over these last few weeks that has been both extremely heavy and delightfully liberating; I have to do this on my own now. 

I'm not trying to get too ahead of myself or anything—I'm not totally on my own. I am fortunate to know I always have the support and encouragement of family and friends, and God knows I don't really know what the hell I'm doing on my own so I'll probably need a lot of their help...

...But I know in my heart or my head—or maybe just in my understanding of the social norms of my society that tell me it's time to grow up—that I'm responsible for me now. 

I also am starting to realize it's going to be hard work to get to a lot of the places that I would like to be, and that I have so much to learn. That in itself is a freeing thought, and one that I am extremely blessed to even be able to entertain. 

Although I do feel like I've closed a few doors along the way (like when I turned down my acceptance to Berkeley to come to UC Davis, or when I quit taking classes for a science/engineering degree and applied to run away to France my freshman year because I got one F on ONE Calculus test, or when I decided to get a seemingly impractical degree in Anthropology) I can see that I still have options. 

There are still an infinite number of paths I could take (unless we are all determinists here) and a lot of those paths do sound pretty appealing to me. 

Sure, I still have some very unrealistic, slightly narcissistic dreams of becoming a rock star, a pilot, or a writer. But I actually think that is kind of awesome that I haven't been so screwed over and jaded by life at this point that I can even still dream up those kinds of things. (Or at least it's probably sort of sweet and endearing to older and/or wiser folks who know what it's really like out there in the "real world.")

Aside from those dreams, I also have more attainable, modest and specific goals that I can begin pursuing now—and that is where I will start on this Wednesday, January 22nd, in this cozy study lounge at UC Davis.